How to Express Affection in Chinese: from “You’re Pretty” to “Will You Marry Me?”

Photo: Courtesy of Jo Bai. Being with a Chinese man is fundamentally different, yet rewarding, and brings great joy to Kathy De Leye, an entrepreneur in the health business who comes from Belgium. However, one challenge that Western spouses point out about their Chinese husbands is communication. If something is wrong, such as a problem at work, he won’t talk about it. She said compared to men from the West, her husband is very quiet and works much more. But the fact that he’s not saying anything bothers me,” she said. The couple has already had a few fights because of the communication issue, but they are working on finding a solution. As Chinese society becomes more international and modern, cross-cultural marriages are becoming more and more common. Today, on International Women’s Day, Metropolitan, China’s expat community lifestyle guide, shines a spotlight on expat women in the community who are married to Chinese men.

10 Tips To Make A Good Impression On Your First Date With A Chinese Man

Visit for more related articles at Global Media Journal. This cross-cultural study explored the role of culture and gender in mate selection. Through content analyzing two hundred Chinese personal advertisements and two hundred American personal advertisements posted on Chinese and American dating websites, the study found that culture had significant impact on patterns of self-presentation and mate preference.

More Chinese advertisers provided information on their physical appearances, health conditions, financial status, education, and morality, whereas more American advertisers wrote about their personality and hobbies.

But if you’re a man, be prepared – you’ll still likely be footing the bill on all “The traditional Chinese dating culture is as soon as someone asks.

Dating anywhere in the world that is not your home country, you are bound to find some cultural differences and experience culture shock. Depending on where you come from, Chinese culture is probably very different to what you are used to. Or, indeed, other expats living in China from different countries other than your own. This is a down to Earth account about experiences dating in China — the good, the bad, and the ugly, and how to deal with the cultural differences that almost certainly will arise.

In Asian culture, however, including dating in China, they often seem to miss out the middle step. Nothing needs to be said, e. If a guy likes a girl, then he will flaunt his stuff by buying presents and showing her what kind of good home and family he can offer. One of the best ways to show your love and affection in Chinese culture is by showing it with objects. Just recently there was an article about a Chinese man who bought his foreign girlfriend a Lamborghini as an engagement present.

Unfortunately, she said no. For more stories of madness, look no further than these ridiculous proposals. In Western culture, this would often result in the end of a friendship, or at least some arguments. The general etiquette in Western culture would be that if two or more friends like the same person, it would either be decided that turns would be taken, let the other person decide, or no one can have them — in order to avoid conflict.

I have been in situations before where 3 or more friends have all been trying to show off their stuff, actively and openly competing against each other.

A Prosperous China Says ‘Men Preferred,’ and Women Lose

Chinese dating etiquette is one of the well-known particular dating culture in the world of relationship. They are indeed different in many ways compare to the common dating etiquette in Western countries, even the rest of the countries in East Asia. Strongly influenced by their culture and tradition, Chinese has their own rules of dating.

This, however, still going strong to this day pushed down to younger generation by the elderly. If you know nothing about this, then get ready to enter a completely new world of dating. Men and women in China has a lot of pressure of getting married.

In China, women are allowed to marry at 20, and men at These ages are Com ; Dating and Sex in China ; Marriage in In traditional marriages, the bride’s spouse was chosen by her father.

Chinese marriages are interesting affairs fused with unique customs and traditions. As is the case with most societies, in primitive times the concept of marriage did not exist. People of a single tribe did not have fixed spouses and they could have multiple sexual partners. Marriage in ancient Chinese culture went through a lot of changes. Initially, people bearing the same surnames were allowed to get married, marriage between siblings was allowed too.

These legendary characters are responsible for the creation of mankind in Chinese mythology, they were both related by blood and they formulated proper procedures for marriage after marrying each other. Towards the end of the Neolithic age, marriages among siblings got banned and exogamous marriages emerged. Then followed the maternal marriage. Another type of marriage that was popular during the Zhou Dynasty — BC was the sororate marriage.

Betrothal gifts were so important that a marriage without these was considered dishonorable. The children would continue to live with their paternal grandparents. There was also the tradition of marriage brokers, presently known as matchmakers. Matchmaking was an important task assigned to elderly ladies who matched couples for marriage.

Love on the Cloud: The Rise of Online Dating in China

Walk down any street or into any bar in China and you will see the oh-so familiar sight of foreign men with Chinese girls. Go on any internet forum and you will be able to access myriad conversations and threads extolling the trials and tribulations of Western men dating Chinese girls. But what if we flip it the other way round?

Today we are going to talk about dating in China; more specifically, expats and can be considered unusual for a more traditional Chinese person. “Back then, they said that Chinese men weren’t attracted to women with.

There are many myths and stereotypes when it comes to dating asian guys. Some are completely outlandish and some are, well, a little more spot on. Multiple articles and studies discuss how cultural stereotypes of Asian men may make them less attractive to women of all races, including Asians. According to the U. This frustration is not being taken lightly. Asian males are not portrayed as masculine, whereas Asian females are stereotyped as submissive, exotic.

The good news for Asian males is that as online dating is becoming less and less taboo, there are a lot more asian dating sites ready to help make meeting potential matches easier. No argument there.

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Chinese online dating services have grown increasingly popular as they draw on traditional Chinese dating values such as material security and marriage-focused relationships. When year-old auto sales manager Zhou Yixin joined online dating at the behest of her cousin living in Beijing, she did not expect to meet her steady boyfriend of two years. Unlike in first-tier cities like Beijing and Shanghai, where new trends emerge and quickly permeate society, Zhou was considered an early adopter in the second-tier city Yantai in Shandong Province when she began online dating in the early s.

When Zhou reached her late twenties, she felt an increasing amount of pressure from her family to get married. The site is typically used by young singles between 24 and 35 and is commonly viewed as a tool for seeking long-term relationships and possibly marriage.

illustrate the differences between the dating attitudes and expectations of Chinese. women and men. Per traditional expectations, both sexes place a low priority.

As much as how ideal Chinese men are, stereotypes and misconceptions are still lingering around the minds of the people that stop them from even considering the thought of dating Asian men. At an early age, kids are brought up with traditional values to stay close to their parents, value their approval, and take care of them when they get old. Maybe not now, but probably soon.

But of course, it would depend on the situation. Depending on the household they grew up in, Chinese men are responsible in many ways. Either in the financial aspect, household chores, or family. In the financial aspects, most Chinese men handle money pretty well. Instead, they only spend money on necessities and save the rest for the future or invest it. Chinese men are also knowledgeable in doing household chores.

Depending on how they were brought up, most would help out in the cooking and cleaning. Once Chinese men start their own family, they would take over the responsibility of making sure his family is living a good and comfortable life.

For Years, I Was Vehemently Against Dating Asian Guys—Even Though I’m Chinese

Chinese culture may seem peculiar compared with every country out there. Chinese girlfriends are the best when it comes to integrity, sincerity, care and being honest about their feelings. I have tried lots of international dating agencies, but it was one summer in Chongqing that changed my life. It all started as a usual business trip, but turned into 20 years of the best relationships ever.

I had to stay in China for some time to test the waters and examine all the peculiarities of dating Chinese woman. Of course, some things might appear openly weird an unnecessary, especially for the Westerner, but it feels better and better as long as you deeply emerge into this culture.

Being in a relationship with an ethnic Chinese man, or just admitting to having feelings for one, can require courage for Muslim women in.

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A generation or two ago in China, marriage was nearly universal, and arranged unions were quite common.

Ancient Chinese Marriage Customs

It is somewhat uncommon for Western and non-Chinese women to date Chinese men in China. A lot of reasons for this but they mostly boil down to the culture differences between China and the Western world. However, men in China are mostly the same as men everywhere else. This will help you to put your best foot forward in the beginnings of your relationship with a Chinese man, and help you find the partner of your dreams. Like many Western men, Chinese men in general prefer to be able to see the natural bone structure and complexion of their dates.

That means that even if you are a very skilled makeup artist, you should focus your skills on keeping to a natural palette if you want to make a great first impression.

Many asians brought up in a traditional upbringing (both men and women) choose to live at home with their parents until they get married. Asian culture.

A decade ago, my plans for coming to China included teaching for a year, two Dating was not part of my plan, so when it happened, I was completely unprepared for it. Both talk about their relationships with their Chinese significant others. Chinese guys, with pressure from their parents and coming from a different culture of dating, by-and-large date to marry.

So much so, that my husband didn’t ask to date me, he asked me to be with him for the rest of his life. So, if you’re dating a Chinese guy, make sure to figure out what the both of you want out of the relationship so you can manage expectations.

Chinese Dating: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – Part 1

January 24, by YinYangJinFeng. Lately there was a big hoohaa over the internet about the girl who posted quite negative things about dating Chinese men just after one blind date with a Chinese guy, so my darling friend and favourite blogger Jocelyn over at Speaking of China urged all girls who have experience to share their stories too, to show other versions and experiences with the following in mind:. The more of us that publish thoughtful pieces that transcend the usual stereotypes and assumptions, the better for those readers searching for information on this topic.

So before we get into my person experience with dating a Chinese man, lets get some facts straight. First of all, I think many would agree that the media heavily influences the status quo. With that in mind, have you noticed the negative images constantly and consistently been dished out at the expense of Asian guys?

“Chinese man fancies Western woman” was the title of the personal ad Li Lei take Chinese girls seriously, because they just want to date foreign girls.” “A Western woman will not fit the traditional role of a Chinese wife,”.

The family unit is considered to be one of the most central institutions. For many, their family provides them with a sense of identity and a strong network of support. In China, the family is largely understood through Confucian thought. In Confucian thinking, the family contains the most important relationships for individuals and forms the foundations of all social organisation. For instance, the roles of husband and wife, parent and child, elder brother and younger brother are clearly defined.

Confucian roles are not strictly adhered to anymore. Nevertheless, children are still expected to obey their parents and honour their elders. This is in accordance with filial piety, the Confucian tenet that stresses the importance of age. For example, in most regions of China, the entire family is expected to consult family elders on big decisions.

Moreover, children are expected to care for their parents as they age. Sending elderly parents to an aged care facility is considered shameful.

Marriage in modern China

While researchers have long examined the dating and mate selection patterns among young adults, the vast majority have utilized Western samples. In order to further our understanding of the changing nature of dating behaviors and attitudes, this study examines a sample of young Chinese adults and focuses upon the gender differences therein. Using a foundation of social exchange theory, the analyses illustrate the differences between the dating attitudes and expectations of Chinese women and men.

It’s no surprise that expressing love, dating and asking a Chinese person to Traditional Chinese: 我喜歡你 (wǒ xǐhuān nǐ) (man to woman).

The rise of little puppies as an ideal type of boyfriend points toward a shift in popular culture in the country, where young women are increasingly defying traditional attitudes toward romance. The ideal romantic male figure in the eyes of Chinese women has evolved with pop-culture fads over the past decades. Throughout the s and s, the macho image as embodied by the late Japanese actor Ken Takakura—who starred in the action thriller Manhunt , the first foreign hit on Chinese big screens after the traumatic Cultural Revolution—was all the rage.

Shows like Meteor Garden portrayed women in Cinderella-esque roles—damsels of lower social rank who would inevitably end up falling in love with a older, handsome, wealthy man. Inspired by South Korean fandom, many even compete among each other to see who can spend more on their idols, for example by taking out ads to celebrate their birthdays.

One said her boyfriend always demands that they sleep face-to-face while cuddling. Another boasted that hers always compliments her whether she wears makes-up or not, no matter how dark her under-eye circles are. Other women said that what they like best about dating a little puppy is the feeling of being loved generously and unconditionally.

WORST things about marrying a Traditional Chinese man